Prior to becoming a Project Manager, I worked in Quality Management. The aspect of that role which I loved was continuous/process improvement – looking at ways of working and determining how things could be made better. Something about that must have stuck with me as I’ve always been interested in how we can make things better – both in the workplace and our personal lives.
There’s always room for improvement, in all situations. However, it’s incredibly easy to forget this. We get stuck in routines. We have busy lives and lots of the ‘usual stuff’ to address each day. We frequently lock into auto-pilot mode and, without realising it, just drift through the days/weeks/years. We become conditioned to the way of living we’re used to and rarely think to stop and take stock of things – to consider if there are things we could do differently to create a better life.
What if we could do something about that, particularly when it comes to our personal lives? Fundamentally, it all comes down to believing ourselves a little bit more. Just think about that for a minute:
- What if we stopped believing we never have the time to do anything?
- What if we stopped second-guessing what people think about us and realise that it doesn’t matter a jot in the grand scheme of things?
- What if we stopped letting other people’s agendas influence ours? That can be close to home – friends, family and work colleagues – or it can be further afield (i.e. turning off the news and not buying newspapers)?
- Perhaps, most importantly, what if we started fighting that annoying voice in our heads, telling us we’re not good enough? That voice (the inner chimp, as Professor Steve Peters calls it in his brilliant book ‘The Chimp Paradox’) that urges us to seek a comfortable life – to finish work, eat tea, and sit in front of the TV for the whole evening / week / weekend? That’s the life the chimp wants for us – everything to be nice and easy. The default mode day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. No challenges. No difficulty. No seeking anything new to enjoy and stimulate our senses. Just easy contentment with taking the path of least resistance.
What could we achieve if we battled that way of thinking which lives inside so many of us? The possibilities are endless. Just think of the fundamental issues in life which are there largely because we’ve settled into a specific way of thinking and acting. We’re probably in that regimented, fixed-in-our-habits state at home. We’ll likely be in that state when with friends and extended family. We’re almost certainly in that state at work. Doing the same old, same old. Not looking to change or improve. Simply drifting throughout life, without even thinking about it. Yet the scope to change is huge. By doing things differently, we can make significant improvements in our lives. This might sound woo-woo, but with a slightly different approach, we could lose weight and get fit, take up new hobbies, potentially save money / start clawing away at debt (though that is clearly more difficult than ever to do these days), make home improvements, be a better partner/parent/friend, get out of the house and see new places (even those close to home) – the list is endless and will be different for everyone.
On that subject of ‘sounding woo-woo’, I’ve always been incredibly conscious of this. However, I’m now at an age (and state of mind) where I care less and less about what others think. Genuinely so. I still do, of course (don’t most of us?), but nowhere near the extent that I used to. This was really hit home a couple of weeks ago when I saw this snipper from the wonderful Mel Robbins. My wife is probably already sick to the back teeth of me saying ‘Let them’ but this is something I now say to myself multiple times each day – it perfectly encapsulates my thinking these days. Please take just 2-minutes to watch this – it could be an absolute game-changer for you.
It’s ridiculously important to be kind to others, but we also really need to start prioritising being kind to ourselves. That’s how we change things. That’s how the ripple effect to others begins. That’s how we live the lives we truly want to lead. We all have interesting stories to tell. We are all capable of so much more than we realise. I’m willing to best the vast majority of us listen to the voices in our head too much and allow that to influence how we go about life. That can be changed! We can think differently, act differently, and subsequently live better lives, without regret. In the words of the wonderful The Lottery Winners:
And if you should find yourself stuck in time
Never going forward, always caught up in rewind
Well, pause for a second, I think you might find
That it’s there if you want it
You only have to want to love yourself
Best wishes and take care.
Mick
