I’m writing this post a few weeks after what was a fantastic Christmas and New Year break, though that came at a price. I overcommitted to things, and whilst most of them were truly amazing, I know I returned to work still feeling like I needed a break. But before I upset anyone close to me reading this, let me explain…
There are some elements of Christmas which are now annual tradition. I doubt they’ll change any time soon and that is fine with me as I don’t want them to. Having a takeaway with my dad for his birthday on the 23rd Dec. A valuable couple of hours or so at a good friend’s house on Christmas Eve. Ridiculsouly valuable time with family on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. New Year’s Eve with friends. These are all Christmas traditions that are seemingly here to stay. However, even with quite a busy diary, I should still be able to find some ‘me time’, though it hasn’t felt that way this year. I don’t feel rested, and I certainly didn’t relax and watch as many Christmas films as I’d have liked or read as many of my Christmas-related books as I try to every December. The fault for all that lies solely with me though. I over-committed to other things.
Some of those things were amazing, like seeing my favourite band (The Lottery Winners) play live on two separate nights. Some of those things weren’t so amazing, like the annual pre-Christmas clean I do each year (the big one – pulling out the sofas, beds, bedroom furniture etc). I was fortunate enough to have just over a fortnight off work, yet I’d created a huge to-do list to do during that period – a list so long, it was unachievable from the outset. Also, and here is the huge lesson learned for me, many of the entries could have been addressed before that time or postponed/omitted all together. Yet again, it boils down to me putting too much pressure on myself. For the first time ever, when looking back at my favourite time of year, I am torn about Christmas – in some respects, it was amazing, in other respects, I found it a bit too much this time around. In a huge lightbulb moment, I realised this applies not just to the Christmas break, but to my entire life.
Trying to do too much in life is the core issue. The older I get, the more I realise how precious and vital true down-time is. I always have a lengthy to-do list – far too long, to be honest. I’ve written about it previously, yet I still allow my precious time to be taken up with largely mundane tasks, rather than what truly matters to me. I intend significantly changing things from now on, focusing on just 2-3 important tasks each day, then spending the rest of my spare time relaxing and doing the things I truly love. Things such as:
- Reading. A lifelong passion of mine.
- Walking. It remains the only time in life when I’m able to truly switch off.
- Song-writing. I will use my time my time playing music with intent, rather than aimlessly strumming or tinkling the ivories for an hour or two.
- Spending time with my wife. We’ve been empty nesters since September, when our daughter (our only child) went to university, and I’ve been making a concerted effort to do more as a couple. In what has been a difficult time for both of us, this has been a nice outcome, and it’s something I intend continuing into 2025.
Which, in the name of balance, means I need to spend less time on certain things. These include:
- Social media. It can be brilliant though it can also be utterly toxic.
- Meaningless scrolling. Yes, I’ve mentioned it lots here, but it’s a complete waste of time and simply has to stop.
- Being a perfectionist and taking far too long to complete tasks that could be done much quicker and be ‘good enough’, rather than perfect. More about this in an upcoming post.
So, to anyone particularly close to me, please forgive me if it seems like I go off-grid more often. I just need to be much better at effective time management. I’m writing this post at a time when I’d hit a point between Christmas and New Year where I’d quite simply had enough of putting pressure on myself and had to relax – essentially doing very little. That feeling carried over into the first couple of weeks of January. This wasn’t helped by having a damned cold again, though I just wanted to completely switch off, hence the lack of blog posts and other general productivity. All this has made me truly realise that 2025 will be my year of finding much more down-time.
To wrap up, in essence, the summary of this post can be distilled into a single quote I head during a recent podcast: I’m going to concentrate on what is important, not what is urgent. That really made me stop and think, especially when the majority of what we often think is urgent actually rarely is. How many of us does this apply to? I’m not prepared to be continually bound to a to-do list full of tasks which don’t particularly matter. I’m going to spend far more time on the things that truly matter to me. The things which will undoubtedly bring me more happiness and make me feel much more fulfilled. Could that work for you too?
Best wishes and take care.
Mick
