Firstly, an explanation of the origin of the title. The wonderful Richard E. Grant, who sadly lost his wife (Joan Washington) of 38 years to cancer in 2021, named his 2022 book after some advice Joan gave him before she died. ‘A Pocketful of Happiness’ is primarily a diary written during her last year – a period which saw Joan frequently tell Richard to try to find such a thing every day. Seems like excellent advice to me and is something which has really stuck with me over the years. In general, I try to be positive, though this is proving really difficult right now, for so many reasons.
First and foremost, it seems as though the world is burning all around us. I’ve previously written about how I try not to watch too much news these days, though there are times when I do. These last few weeks in particular have been truly hideous. In addition, so many people seem stressed about so many things these days: the state of the world / politics; health; work; money troubles; mental health issues; other people; and life in general. I can’t recall a period during my life when I’ve known so many people suffer from anxiety and depression, to varying degrees.
Also, a huge factor (and another I’ve previously written about), is the constant demand for our time and attention. There are too many factors at play here. Constant alerts. Constant connectivity. Addiction to screens. All of this is hideously prevalent these days, though it’s incredibly difficult to get out of that dangerous loop, especially when so many devices, social media apps and websites are designed to keep us engaged and addicted.
Aligned to that, there is much more of a desire amongst so many of us to be recognised / acknowledged. We are rarely content keeping ourselves to ourselves and we share more of our lives than at any other point in history. Let’s be honest here – most of us crave attention in the form of likes / reactions / reshares / acknowledgement of some form or another. That isn’t a slur on any of us by the way – it’s just how technology has most of us wired in this day and age. That same technology also has so many being untrue to ourselves and/or being easily influenced and swayed by others. This really isn’t healthy. We’re losing our natural curiosity. We’re losing a desire to learn and grow. We’re losing empathy. We’re losing the value of inclusion and a world where most of us think of others. In short, we’re in one almighty mess. Do these views seem excessive to some? I really don’t think it is. Obviously, this isn’t a blanket summary applying to everyone, though it is definitely a growing and worrying trend. I’m not a luddite – in the main, I do try to welcome change and technological advancement – though there is much about the modern world that I genuinely hate.
So, what to do about this? Given my preferred option isn’t viable right now (i.e. move to the middle of nowhere (preferably the highlands of Scotland, miles away from anyone) and live a life of solitude in a house with a log fire, loads of books, my guitars, and a record player), there are a few more instant and realistic options I’m desperately trying to adhere to:
- Constantly look at how I’m doing things and living life, particularly questioning if my habits are healthy (both for body and mind), and if I’m being the person I truly want to be.
- Be a little more insular. Share less, apart from blog posts and the like.
- Try not to be as much of a people-pleaser. I’ve realised I can’t possibly take in and respond to every WhatsApp group post, social media tag and post, and e-mail. I just don’t have the bandwidth – there are days when trying to do so drains me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate people, or don’t want to see anything or be included in chats – it’s just that I don’t have the capacity to do so. Hopefully those closest to me understand what I’m saying here – I’m sure they do.
- Scroll past any online content that is clearly toxic or doesn’t align to my values and beliefs.
- Don’t watch the news (or keep it to a bare minimum).
- Don’t read newspapers.
- Don’t be so reliant on the damned phone. Don’t reach for it the moment I’m awake. Leave it in a separate room when I’m working or need to focus on anything meaningful. Certainly don’t have it pinging with alerts every minute of the day. I don’t have too many updates automated anyway – I refuse to have alerts set-up for e-mails, breaking news, and even WhatsApp messages. Those closest to me know to either call or send a text message if they need me for anything urgent…
I’m hoping all this helps – it has to really. I must find those pocketfuls of happiness each day and minimise the negative and draining stuff. I’m reminded of a quote from an Eddie Murphy movie: Holy Man:
“Seventy-five years. That’s how much time you get if you’re lucky. Seventy-five years. Seventy-five winters. Seventy-five spring times. Seventy-five summers. And seventy-five autumns. When you look at it like that, it’s not a lot of time, is it? Don’t waste them. Get your head out of the rat race and forget about the superficial things that preoccupy your existence and get back to what’s important now. Right now. This very second. And I’m not saying drop everything and let the world come to a grinding halt. I’m saying that you could become a seeker. You could be loving more. You could be taking some chances. You could be living more. You could be spending more time with your family. You could be getting in touch with the part of you that lives instead of fears; the part of you that loves instead of hates; the part of you that recognises the humanity in all of us. And I tell you, that’s where you’re fortunate…”
I haven’t seen the film – truth be told, I’ve never fancied it – but I have that clip saved and I watch it frequently. I like it – it works for me. I’d like to think I have at least 85 years rather than 75, though the rest of it really does strike a chord.
Finally, I’m also reminded of one of my favourite movies of 2025 (and, of course, the original short story by the legend that is Stephen King) – The Life of Chuck. There may be some slightly contradictory elements to this post. I may not make sense to all the people all the time (obviously…). I know, like each and every one of us, that I have my quirks, and that many of my interests aren’t shared with friends and family, and they’re mine and mine alone. But I’m wholly comfortable with that. Life is complex. Life is challenging. But life should be wonderful and joyous, regardless of what the external factors are making us feel. I refuse to feel reduced by the humdrum of large elements of everyday life. I do contain multitudes. And if that final quote doesn’t make much sense (as it didn’t to me just 12-months ago), please watch the film – it’s wonderful and provides many lightbulb moments.
And, if you do nothing else, in a world that seems more increasingly crazy / infuriating / worrying / utter shit with each passing day, please do try to find those pocketfuls of happiness, whatever they are for you. It’s one of the most important tasks we need to address in life.
Best wishes and take care.
Mick
