I’m a huge fan of the hit TV show The Bear, and a specific couple of lines from it inspired this post.
For the uninitiated, The Bear is a fantastic show which follows the trials and tribulations that ensue when an award-winning fine dining chef, Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto, inherits his family’s beef sandwich shop following the death of his older brother, Michael. One of the key characters is Richard “Richie” Jerimovich, an old friend of Michael’s who essentially took on the role of restaurant manager following the death of Michael. Initially, he’s an abrasive character who clashes with Carmy. As a result of this, in one particularly brilliant episode during Season 2, Carmy sends Richie to a fine-dining restaurant, Ever, for a week of training. Richie is initially annoyed at this, particularly at he sees it as Carmy pulling rank and punishing him, but gradually begins to appreciate and respect the fantastic opportunity he’s been given.
One of the employees at the restaurant, Garrett, is allocated as Richie’s supervisor for the week. It quickly becomes apparent that he has the intense work-ethic and commitment required to work at a high-end restaurant, though it also transpires that the job helped Garrett overcome an alcohol addiction. He summarises it in this way:
“A couple of years ago, I had a drinking problem, and I got sober. I’m good now. I feel healthy, and I’m happy, and I’m grateful. Through that experience, I learned about acts of service, and I just like being able to serve other people.”
The concept of service is a fundamental part of the Alcoholics Anonymous program. The symbol of the organisation is a triangle, with each side addressing a key area – recovery, unity, and service. The AA has a 12-step programme which provides a structured and gradual process of recovery. One of those steps relates to the principle of service – of helping others and giving back to the recovery community. This fosters a sense of purpose and fulfilment, as well as creating a sense of belonging and camaraderie that is deemed to be essential for sustaining recovery.
If the importance of service is such a key element of the AA program, why shouldn’t it be hugely important to all of us? After all, surely only the most selfish of people wouldn’t want to help others in some way? To be of assistance, when needed? To be of service? Why wouldn’t we want to make life better for others (and subsequently ourselves) whenever we can? We shouldn’t always wait to be asked either – most of us are able to pre-empt when people may be dealing with issues (whether small or large scale) and need some help but are unwilling, or too proud, to ask for it.
Such instances don’t necessarily have to be big-ticket items or significant issues either. In a scenario I’m sure many will recognise, why shouldn’t I recognise that when my wife wants me to help her with things she’s struggling with (often tech related!), or asks me to help out round the home, there are good and valid reasons for doing so. During these moments, I should be of service and do what she wants, rather than having a bit of a whinge, then begrudgingly doing it at a later stage. I should be willing and happy to immediately help if my mum and dad call and need help with an issue (often tech related!) or something around the house. I should be hugely appreciative (and I am) of the hugely valuable friendship groups I have. I’ve long since been a strong believer that true friends are contactable any time, day or night, if ever needed. That certainly applies to a good number of my friends – I hope they also think the same about me.
My next door neighbour (a lovely man – truly one of life’s good guys) is a member of the Rotary Club of Horwich (where I live). A global charity, the Rotary website summarises the organisation as follows:
Rotary is a global network of more than 1.2 million neighbours, friends, leaders, and problem-solvers who see a world where people unite and take action to create lasting change – across the globe, in our communities, and in ourselves.
The local branch, consisting of a number of like-minded and selfless volunteers, does a huge amount of amazing work for both the local community and further afield. I’ve been involved in a few events with them over the years and one commonly used phrase within the group has always stuck in my mind:
Service above self
This is now the principal motto of Rotary, because it best conveys the philosophy of unselfish volunteer service.
What I’m trying to emphasise here is that being of service isn’t a chore, or a bind, or an inconvenience. I’d argue that it is one of the fundamental elements of life. It’s hugely beneficial, both to others and to us as individuals. Relationships are as essential in life as oxygen, food and water – without them, we’re not really living a life. Therefore, helping others is also essential. Clearly, it isn’t beneficial to do this to such an extent that it adversely affects our own lives, though being of service can often be subtle – it doesn’t necessarily require us to make grand gestures or devote every spare hour of our time to others. As with most things in life, it’s the quiet, unheralded, small-scale elements that are of huge importance.
I guess I’m in a time of reflection right now. The major global event of the past few days is preying heavily on my mind. I’m expecting the world to turn to wrack and ruin over the next few years, with division, hatred, and selfishness becoming even more accepted by many as the norm. Initially, I thought we’re all heading to hell in a handcart, with little hope of redemption. Though there is a crumb of comfort. All we can do is try to live our lives in what we deem to be the right way; to set our own example; to be kind, empathetic, and tolerant. To be of service to others. Perhaps then, we have a semblance of hope…
Take care.
Mick
