Like many people within the UK right now, I’m addicted to The Traitors. It’s compelling, addictive, brilliant television. The recent third series certainly didn’t disappoint, with many twists, turns, and jaw-dropping moments to enjoy. The pure entertainment value aside though, I noticed this year that there are many life lessons we can learn from the show. A handful of these are summarised below.

True friendships take time to cultivate

I always find it fascinating how some of the contestants claim to be really close friends, despite having only known each other for a matter of days. Yes, they may be getting on well and may have found some who they believe to be kindred spirits, but true friendships take time to develop – they rarely happen instantly. Some contestants may well see strong friendships forming once filming has ended, though, again, these relationships often only happen over a lengthy period of time.

We shouldn’t take things personally

Linked to the above point, some of the contestants seem offended and irate when they believe a contestant / perceived friend is turning against them. A classic example came during the series 3 final, when Charlotte, having admitted to Frankie that she was a Traitor, then told a pack of lies over the breakfast table. Frankie looked genuinely disgusted and disappointed, though she clearly didn’t stop to think that Charlotte simply had to act in that way, otherwise her game was over. It wasn’t a personal attack on Frankie (who everyone taking part seemed to love, including Charlotte) – it was merely Charlotte’s game-plan. Not just her game-plan, but her only viable option at that time if she was to stand any chance of winning a share of the £94,600 jackpot. There are so many examples of this in everyday life (God knows I’ve been guilty of it on many occasions), particularly in the workplace. A colleague will do something which seems to be a personal slur and we immediately take offence. Though, if we take just a few seconds to consider their viewpoint – particularly the potential reasons for doing what they’re doing – we’d realise that it’s seldomly a personal issue and there may be many other factors at play which we don’t immediately consider.

In real life, most people don’t look like big screen sex-symbols

There is a lot of reality television which really isn’t for me. I don’t have any interest in watching shows such as Love Island, Made In Chelsea (or any of the Made In derivatives), Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Married At First Sight, and suchlike. I realise I’m a million miles away from the target demographic anyway, though they just don’t interest me. I actually think they’re quite harmful, especially for viewers considerably younger than me, as they tend to project an image of people being perfect (or somewhere close to that). People involved in these shows tend to be incredibly good looking, seemingly successful, and hugely confident. That isn’t real life for many, and that’s one of the many aspects of The Traitors which I really like – contestants clearly aren’t chosen purely for their good looks and their extrovert personalities. Yes, some do fall into those categories, though the sheer range of contestants in each series covers what I would refer to as ‘normal people’. That should be applauded, purely as this absolutely is a more accurate reflection of real life.

Life is all about stories

People close to me may be aware that I go on about this a lot, but I love the fact that life is all about stories. Everyone on this planet has a story to tell and those stories are almost always interesting, whilst telling us so much about the person we’re talking to. Life is fascinating, people are fascinating, and if more people approached life in this way – with a natural inquisitiveness to learn more about others, particularly during a period of time when so many people seem to be incredibly self-obsessed (either intentionally or unintentionally, given the rise of social media) – the world would be a better place. There’d be greater connections in our lives, there’d be more empathy, there’d be more goodwill to each other, and less hatred. The Traitors subtly demonstrates that life is all about stories. Contestants are constantly striving to know more about each other. Yes, within the immediate context of the game, that’s primarily to stand a better chance of winning, though it’s undoubtedly always a good thing to get to know others better: to understand what made them into the person they are today; to understand their priorities; to understand what life means to them. There is so much to discuss with others, and it’s fascinating watching these conversations take place on The Traitors. One standout moment in the recent series came during episode 9, when the remaining 8 contestants ate together and spoke about what they would use the prize money for if they won the show. This was a rare scene within the show, as they truly opened up, displayed some genuine honesty (and vulnerability), and provided a window into their everyday lives. It was poignant, emotional, and fascinating, certainly in terms of better understanding what ultimately motivated each of them. It was, essentially, a storytelling session, and it made for wonderful viewing.

Trust and respect are earned over time

I find it genuinely astonishing that some contestants appear to fully trust some of their fellow competitors. The primary objective of the game is to win the cash prize and the fact that it is fundamentally a game of strategy, tactics, and (for some) misdirection means no-one can be trusted. Yet this really doesn’t sink in with some players. In everyday life, trust and respect should be earned over time and never instantly granted due to someone’s reputation or how they present themselves. Trust, respect and relationships – these are all things which develop over time.

The British countryside is beautiful – we should appreciate it more

Yes, I know there will have been a location crew who painstakingly sought one of the most stunning locations in the UK. Yes, I know that those dramatic, widescreen shots of the Scottish lochs and valleys can be made to look amazing. Yes, I know that certain filters can be added. But Scotland is a beautiful country, and the UK in general has many beautiful areas. So many health and wellbeing experts recommend getting outside as often as possible for good reason – at a time when there is a tendency to be negative about so many aspects of the UK, we should be thankful that we have so much natural beauty on our doorsteps. Get out there and embrace it more – there are few negatives to doing so but so many positives.

Digital detoxes are possible without the world ending!

Contestants must give up their mobile phones for up to 3 weeks, yet life still goes on. Admittedly, this is an enforced and extreme digital detox, though they survive all the same. We may well depend on them for the really important things in life (keeping in touch with close family etc), though there can’t be too many people out there, certainly over the age of 30, who wouldn’t admit to spending far too much time on their phones on a daily basis.

Any close-up profile pics are hideous!

I am slightly biased here, given that I have a face made for radio, a voice made for silent movies, and hate having my photo taken, though some of those wall portraits are truly hideous. The producers of the show must do this intentionally! From the recent third series, Kasim’s was particularly awful. If I were ever on the show, I’d be sneaking in a Tom Hardy mask for my mug-short…

So, there we are. Something to ponder as we count the weeks until series 4 of the show (and the upcoming Celebrity Traitors)…

Best wishes and take care.

Mick