Recently, I’ve been trying to change my entire viewpoint on craving feedback / responses from people. It’s working to a degree, primarily as I keep telling myself that, fundamentally, IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER! (I don’t normally like using capitals in sentences, though the emphasis is certainly needed here…)
Why has this become ‘a thing’ for so many people? Why do so many of us need to see responses and comments to social media posts, WhatsApp group messages, and so much else? Is it because we’re more disconnected these days (certainly in terms of genuine face-to-face interaction with other people) and live our lives much more via phone, tablet and laptop screens? Is it because content creators / creation is so prevalent and we all want a piece of that in our own little way? It is because so many of us, deep down, are insecure and need that validation from others to be reminded that we do matter? Or is there something else I’m not seeing?
When it comes to social media posts, I genuinely don’t mind if I do or don’t get responses/reactions to anything I post, largely as social media in general is one hell of a murky world these days. I’ve been sharing blog posts for years now and the reaction (certainly in terms of ‘regular’ Facebook / Instagram terms) is minimal, though that is largely irrelevant to me. I know the algorithms dictate/limit what people see. I know these aren’t the most effective platforms to use for sharing such content. I also know that some read and appreciate the content without responding.
I have, on occasion, tended to take such things a little personally, and not just relating to these scenarios. I’m sure we’ve all had instances where direct correspondence with family and close friends doesn’t always get responses (i.e. text messages, e-mails, WhatsApp posts etc), though I now realise that feeling this way is crazy. First and foremost, people lead incredibly busy lives. Whilst many us (too many for my liking…) tend to live our entire lives online, it’s important to remember that not everyone does. For many, there simply isn’t time to watch or read everything which lands with us day in, day out. In fact, it is incredibly easy to become overwhelmed with the sheer number of alerts, notifications and messages we do receive. It’s either nigh-on impossible to respond to everything or incredibly time-consuming to do so, and I certainly don’t want to become a slave to my phone. There are some shocking stats about the insane amount of data / information we all process these days. Apparently, in terms of cold hard data storage, the average person is now exposed to, and processes, an estimated 74GB of data/information DAILY. Admittedly, that figure includes video streaming, social media consumption, and internet browsing, though it is astonishing and incredibly worrying. That amount of information is equivalent to watching 16 movies, and/or reading over 100,000 words. Our daily intake now is comparable to what an educated person in the 15th century might have been consumed in their entire lifetime.
Additionally, I’m acutely aware that I have interests which very few others do, and I’m more comfortable than ever with that. There are things that I’m interested in that others aren’t. There are music genres I love which no-one else in my close network do. There are things that make me laugh which don’t do anything for others. There are TV, film and book genres which I love that others just aren’t interested in. Whilst it’s often nice to have shared interests with others, it can’t apply to everything we love. These days, more than ever, I actually quite like that. I love having my own little worlds I can retreat into in and know they’re mine and mine alone.
I’m trying to think a lot more zen-like these days and that is working pretty well. Increased awareness, calm and inner-peace is beneficial and I try not to get as angry or frustrated at things, especially those which are inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. In relation to this post, I’m completely at peace if anything I share, via any forum or group, results in tumbleweed. I’m getting much better at not taking things personally (something else I’ve been guilty of on many occasions). I’m much more content with retreating into my cosy little worlds and having them all to myself whenever I need them. I’m also slowly winning the battle of not being glued to my phone quite as much each day (or rather not being glued to it and consuming meaningless crap for hours at a time). So, the algorithms can take a running jump – I don’t need that constant validation from others to make me realise my life is worth something. Thankfully, my state of mind is generally better because of that.
Best wishes and take care.
Mick
