The blog post is 4 days later than normal this week.
I nearly didn’t write it.
I’ve struggled for time. Work has been really busy. Homelife has been really busy (following some recent building work, I’ve spent nearly an entire week painting). I’ve been tired. Quite drained actually. I thought skipping a week wouldn’t matter.
But it does. I’ve been beating myself up about this since Sunday. It’s been preying on my mind. A lot.
Other than being on holiday for a fortnight last summer, I haven’t missed a weekly post in the 18 months I’ve been writing this blog. That is hugely important to me. That is why I couldn’t miss a week this week. That is why this post is shorter than normal.
Why do we beat ourselves up so much? Is it just me or do others do it? Applying huge pressure to ourselves? Setting ourselves targets that don’t particularly matter in the grand scheme of things?
For me, it’s because this blog is hugely important. I feel duty-bound to post weekly. It is cathartic for me and I know that others do get something from it. Perhaps only a small number at the moment, but others all the same. It is why I’m sat here typing at 5.30am, before I start my working day. I’ll feel much better once this is posted. I’ll feel back on track.
I’ve always been my harshest critic. I always will be – I doubt that will ever change. And whilst there are days when I don’t beat myself up so much, it will always happen, in my head, to some degree.
The subject matter of this blog post should have been why I’ve been beating myself up a lot lately (figuratively, not literally…) and why I’m feeling I’m failing in quite a few key areas. I was hoping it would be a bit of an outpouring, leading to a fairly redemptive conclusion which would make me feel better. Instead, this is all I’ve had time to do. At least it acts as a precursor to that post, which will now follow this coming Sunday. And at least now I feel better having written this, having suddenly realised yet again that I’m far too harsh on myself. Sometimes I just need that little reminder to ease off the self-criticism a little and realise that simply getting through life unscathed (particularly this year) is more than enough.
Try not to beat yourself up too much. Chances are you’re doing a grand job in this thing called life and merely existing (whilst hopefully finding a few reasons to be cheerful) should be enough of a win for most of us.
As always, thanks for reading and please do take care.